By Vian Clinch Leybag
Marsai Martin on the movie "Little" | Photo Source: Universal
Growing up surrounded by adults and the elderly, I’ve always been taught to act
my age. When I do things and be happy with it, sometimes over-reacting on it, and
they will say “act your age”. I get emotional over something, and they will say “act
your age”. I sometimes lose my temper easily and get angry, they will say “act
your age”. These people around me taught me not just to act my age, but definitely
what it means to me is to move forward, grow, forget, and change. Little did I
know, it was these things that are implanted in my mind since I was a child, are the things
that became a hindrance to my growth, as a human person.
I’ve come to binge watch on Netflix almost every day since we’re still staying at our home 24/7. There’s this movie that captures my attention, and it was entitled “Little”. A story of a rich and smart lady who had everything she wanted but is still not happy and bitter. One day she woke up and became her 12 year old self again. All week being her 12 year old self she realizes some things in her life that make peace into her mind and soul. That lady finally became her present old self again but on the set of her next journey, she is more happy and kind.
What a great movie to watch. Then I realize it isn’t just all about the lady becoming a kid again and it was magic. That movie speaks highly to me, about how important it is to make peace with our inner child. The part of myself that I forgot to look back on because I'm so obsessed to change and move on just so I can forget my mistakes and learn from them. Because simply there’s nothing wrong with it. But all those things I did for myself in the past years didn’t make me completely happy at all. Because of how I kept every pain, fear, regrets, chances, etc. in my inner child alone, and forgot to deal with it.
I have realized all these things since I was 16 years old, and is still working on it now. That is, to heal my inner child.
As I wonder and process healing my inner child in all sorts of things. I’ve come to change and finally overcome some things that blocked me from being happy and showing up as my best self.
I realize our inner child is simply the part of us that was built up in our childhood experiences. So after finding myself engaging at being so harsh, saying so much negativity to myself which turn out to be self-destructive, denying who I really am, reacting too impulsively to the situations with anger, frustrations, over-thinking, jealousy, I can say it was a trigger from my wounded inner child acting the same as it was before.
When I reached 16, I started to heal my inner child by first, forgiving. Forgive what I did wrong and to those people who did something wrong to me that has never been confronted since they didn’t even know what they did. Spend enough time to accept, and let things that make me happy. I let myself do things that I used to love, how I loved myself when I was a kid, what kind of person I wanted to be before other people tell me who I should be, what kind of dreams I used to have and so much more.
It was a good way to start for me, and so until now, I still heal pieces of my inner child little by little just like how I used to discover things as a child, and finally make peace with him so I can live the best of who I am upon acting my age.
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